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The Things Larry is Not Allowed to do at the SCP Foundation
Things Larry is Not Allowed to do at the SCP Foundation #Exist. #Not exist. #Anything in between. #Assault anyone/anything with his mouth. #Bully SCP-049. (LEAVE HIM ALONE.) #Larry is to be escorted by two four six twenty heavily armed guards with stun batons. #Under no circumstances is SCP-079 to be told of Larry's existence. #Cthulhu is not a SCP. #Neither is R'lyeh. #What the fuck is a Kadath? #Larry is NOT permitted to interact with any SCP with an object class above Euclid. #SCP-158 is to remove his soul daily, for examination. #Have any medication whatsoever. #Go to Earth low Earth orbit Sol in general. #Meet SCP-732. #Exist on the same planet as SCP-732. #Know about SCP-732. #Larry is not a researcher at the SCP foundation. #Larry is not a researcher at the SCP foundation. #Larry is not a researcher at the SCP foundation. #Who the fuck keeps telling you he is? #Under no circumstances is Larry to be exposed to a low pitch remix of 'Safety Dance'. #Larry is notfrom the future. #Under no circumstances shall Larry get 'Back to the future'. #Nor shall SCP-2337 attempt to help him in this endeavor. #Once a year, Larry shall be allowed access to the furry convention of his choice, and multiple automatic firearms. It's best not to ask why. #Larry is not and never was a member of the 'SCP Speed Dating' program sponsored by Dr. Bright. #Larry is not smarter than research personnel. #Any D-Class that manage to find out about Larry are to be subjected to five years of daily torture via SCP-239 until they admit that Larry does not exist. They are then allowed to meet him. #NEVER TO COME IN CONTACT WITH SCP-113. PERIOD. I DON'T CARE HOW FUNNY IT IS. #Go to Jacksonville Florida. #Go to Florida at all. #Convince someone that he is in fact a god. #Convince someone he is an Elder god. #Convince someone he is an outer god. #Once a week, SCP-243 will be exposed to his toilet, to see what he does. #Snakes are never to be put in his cell. #Unless you really want to. #Larry is not allowed to build anything, ever, period. #Dr. Glass is also not allowed in his cell after what happened last time. #SCP-682 is not a spaceship. Stop. #SCP-682 is not an elder god either. #Under no circumstances is Larry to refer to anyone as 'Scotty'. #Scotty. #SCP-076 is never to know about Larry. #Larry is never to know about SCP-076. #SCP-343 IS NOT TO KNOW ABOUT LARRY EITHER. #Larry can, however, be told about Project Heimdall. #Bagels are food, not flashlights. #Stop. #In the event Dr. Bright comes into contact with Larry, all SCPs at the site will be re-classifed as Apollyon, and all on-site personnel evacuated until further notice. #Larry is never to learn about REDACTED #He is not allowed to pet any animals either. #Or have REDACTED with them. #Seriously, what the fuck, stop. #If any D-Class are to come into contact with him, they must be Cironeans. #Female ones. #The window to his containment cell is also to pretended to be shut while any D-Class are in it. #Dr. Glass says numbers 56 - 58 is an amazing idea. #UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS LARRY TO MEET ANY MEMBERS OF CIRONEAN ROYALTY. #Dr. Bright needs to stop submitting Larry as a SCP-001 candidate. #Or an Apollyon. #Dr. Bright is to have his memory wiped of all memories of Larry's existence. #Sly Marbo is not real. #Any attempts to create Sly Marbo will be punished by EXPUNGED #If Larry is caught masturbating in his cell, Dr. Glass would like the recording for examination. #There is not and will never be a 'Things Larry is Allowed to do at the Foundation', as he is not allowed to do anything. #Dr. Glass continues to submit a document titled 'Things Larry can be Forced to do at the Foundation', that the O5 council will continue to ignore. #Larry is not allowed to attempt to kill SCP-682. #SCP-682 is not allowed to meet Larry ever again, due to what happened last time. #Larry is not allowed to drink his own semen. #Dr. Glass is not allowed to edit this article anymore, due to numerous strikethroughs of the word 'not'. #Dr. Bright is also not allowed to edit this article. #Larry is not allowed to meet SCP-3999. #SCP-3999 does not exist.